I hate the doubt I've instilled in my mind. It's all the truth.
I hate being nothing.
I really do.
and that's why I'm the way I am. Why things are the way they are.
I'm feeling like the lowest of the low.
How do I not?
When I have nothing.
I wish I could put this into words in a clear way, so others can understand and see what I mean.
But I can't.
How do I accept nothing? Not let nothing bother me? Not let the lack of life experience not hinder me? Not let all of my shortcomings hold me back? Live in the present, and do what I can do make something out of nothing. How do I do it?
If one thing worked out: Spanish, Frisbee, Basketball, anything that I tried, that my past didn't completely eliminate, has just not worked out. I wish I had help.
someone who tried to help me find some sort of meaning
instead of invalidating feelings they simply don't understand
it's hard.
I'm trying.
I need to find something that I can separate from all of this.
all of this, negativity.
that I can't seem to escape.
You do nothing with your life until you are a senior in high school.
you're going to have problems.
I just didn't know.
It would be
this
painful.

I've been stuck in cyclone for far too long. Lost most of my adolescent years because I was succumbed by the strong winds. I'm ready to live. Forgive and forget.
Forgive and forget.
Two words.
I need to enact.
but how?

the burning question.

how?