Maybe the only way I was ever going to lose this mindset was to be forced to.
I'm making this happen for a reason.

The only way this can get worse is if I get lower than a three this semester, which is definitely possible.

I can't believe how everything fell apart like this.

This will either make or break me.

The final mistake that will set me free.

I need to focus on the good in me, no matter how minimal it is.

My friends, my family, they are all my reasons.

I'm at the point in my life where it can swallow me hole.

But I refuse.

I'll never stop fighting.

I fight for my mom, who has been there for me more than anyone ever could. I love her more than words can describe.

I fight for my brother, who has been such a joy in my life and truly makes me happy when I'm around him, even when I'm dieing inside. I love him too, more than I express.

I fight for my friends, friends that I have somehow have even though I've hated myself for the past four years. They have proven to me that even though I'm filled to the rim with low self-esteem, people can like me.

I fight also for the future in which I can help people live better lives. Whatever I'm doing, I hope that I can make a difference in that regard. It may be idealist, but it's what I feel I want to do.

I want to learn from all the failure, grow from it, and move on.
It just seems as if it's too much failure to handle.