Toning down the need to feel affection. Is that the next step?

If it is, how is it possible?

there's still more I have to do. to feel alright. I need to figure out what.

How do I make this feel different?

I like myself. This is a new thing for me.

I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is alright.

it's sort of feels good to cry. all that is inside of me can come out

i've come so far.

I'm crying because I care so much about people and I just want someone to care about me.

Four weeks into the semester already (Three weeks and classes + HA training). It's certainly been an interesting ride.

Things have gotten better. Somewhat.

My self image has improved. I still don't have any real take on my identity, but a quote by Bob Dylan has allowed the feelings of confusion to subside somewhat, "All I can do is be me,whoever that is." I hope someday my identity comes into better focus, but I can't force it anymore, I need to let my identity develop naturally, even though the wait for this development is difficult.

More coming later.

I don't ever want to feel like I did last semester ever again.

One day, love will break through the barrier, trickle in like water, and bring life to all that has decayed over the years. The breath I take will be the fullest I have ever taken, and the energy of life will be rapidly flowing through my veins. I live for this moment.

I've gone as far as I can go. I'm ready. I'm ready as I'll ever be.

Just hold my hand. I want to know what that feels like.

I wish it didn't have to hurt this much.

Where are you?

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown

I need to change my mind.