It's a deeply ingrained issue that will not be truly solved for a long time.
I'm trying to remove my thoughts from it, not let my life center around it anymore, try to live on a more daily basis. I've changed, if I keep going in the right direction, eventually I will find a life for me. I will find what I am looking for. Now it's up to be to continue to change my mindset, stop my worrying habits (which have plagued me my whole life), make the changes that have always needed to be made. Feeling depressed over it, even though it is so easy to, has run its course. Slowly, I will emerge. I will slowly remove the conditions from my happiness, but I will still always have my desires. They will be stars now, instead of daggers, high up in the sky, and I will always be reaching for them.