and maybe someday things will work out. Someday things will be okay. For now, I need to let go, and live life day by day. Do what I can to make the best out of every day. Be friendly. Give to others want I want to given to me. Maybe someday I will have that talent, that ability, that meaning, that pride, those connections. This is always going to be my story, but I'm not going to let it run my life anymore, let it take up all my thoughts. I'm not giving up, but this is the only way I will ever get better. It's not caring so much. Acceptance. This is my life. Over the past few years, I have improved myself, but this is the furthest I can go. I know how to live now. I will do my best to be the new person that I am. My life may eventually come around or it may not. Hating every moment of every day is not going to get me anymore. The repetitive thoughts are not going to get me anywhere. This is the only way, as exemplified by last semester. If I live the way I did, I will only be happy in spurts, when a girl comes into my life, when I find success. I need to find acceptance and happiness in some form away from that. It's the only way.It's going to be tough, incredibly tough. and lonely. but I'll have my family, my friends. I'll only worry about my own life, not anyone elses.
Thinking the way I have got me this far. I'm at the destination of this mindset.

I'm Chris Lombardi.
I'll eventually learn who that is, by not focusing on what I'm not.
I'm not many things, but I am some things.
I will learn to remember them, and grow.
and do my best to connect.

and that's it.
It's going to be hard, but my thoughts need to start changing now.
Little by little
I will let go
accept
detach.

Life is hard. I need to have an attitude that can withstand failure.
That's what I'm going to do now.

I'll be proactive.
But I need to be okay with who I am now.
and I think about how hard it will be.
all these images in my mind.
but it's the only way.

I have a good heart. I love my family. I will do my best every day.

-Chris