And it's the needs that aren't being met. The loneliness, even though its blocked away by other hurtful emotions, its the loneliness, the lack of experience, the waiting for my life to begin, the mistakes, the constant mistakes, and the a future with a dim light on. I just want things to be okay, for me to feel okay. I'm a good guy.
I think if I put a lid on the career stress then the momentum from the relief of that will allow me to accept my life as it is. Accept who I am. I think I could be loved, if I accept my life and am consistent with my moods.
I have my family. I love my family. I have my good heart.
I can get by with that, I just can't handle the stress anymore of making mistakes with my career. Everyone makes mistakes, but mine just seem to be so much worse, and harder to intake.

I never want to wake up feeling like this again.
It is the worst way to feel.