and there's still all this emotion in me i want to write it out of me but I can't I would write for years
I was knocked off the plane when I was a younger kid and and I was given two parachutes pride and love but I can't them to work because they don't exist for me never have and I need to them to and then I can float peacefully in the air and I wouldn't be falling anymore and my heart will stop screaming and I can say "hello, how are you?" and that's all it will be it would be "hello, how are you?" with one million strings attached and analysis of every gesture every spec of movement I make and I won't look across the room and see the people who have what I don't have and hate everything and man I wish I could just go have lunch and have lunch and eat my sandwich and wash it down with some lemonade and it could just be lunch but nothing is ever anything anyone its all loneliness and lack of pride and I need to find that shade of light that comes through it all that I can jump to and ride through the storm but the light hasn't turned on yet I'm going to keep looking